Welcome to the United States

We welcome EVERYONE to come into the United States of America.
If you are smuggling drugs, we will not prosecute you.
If you are sneaking in illegally, we will not stop you.
If you are coming here to join a muslim "sleeper cell" we will not stop you.
If you are coming here to get free money, housing, food, medical, etc., we welcome you.
Anyone trying to stop you will be put in prison.
However, if you can't make it to the U.S.A., don't worry, we will send lots of money to YOUR country.
The taxpayers and legal residents of America have so much that they want to give it away to you.
Once you're here, feel free to commit any crime from credit card fraud to murder...we probably will let you go free (assuming that we even try to prosecute you).
America wants all those that will contibute nothing and take everything as well as those that want to destroy lives and property. We're so bored with being rich that you can make our lives interesting by bringing crime, disease, destruction and a depletion of our tax money and resources.
Please, enter as soon as you can. We don't have enough of you here yet and are desperate for our way of life to be changed. Only you can help us get out of the good lives that we have.
By the way, don't forget to bring your friends and relatives too, there's money and room for everybody. We will help you to do whatever you wish. You DO NOT NEED to get any identification, car insurance, licenses or anything else. Just sneak in here and take whatever you want. We won't even expect you to work.
The government of the United States of America welcomes you and will give you all the benefits denied to its own citizens.
As an added bonus, you can vote (without registering) in any of your fellow countrymen to make new laws that benefit only you.
You are very foolish if you don't come here immediately. We especially need to expand the muslim and Mexican population, as there isn't enough muslim terrorism happening and we need more Mexicans killing our people. Please, please, come here tonight...